Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i think i just lost a toe
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
