Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
