I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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