okay pat passed out under dana's car
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize