You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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