he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
