so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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