Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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