Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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