We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
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