hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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