You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
