you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
