If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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