You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize