I want to stick my p in your. b.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
