I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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