You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
