so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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