we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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