she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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