Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
