this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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