kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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