Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Terrible idea I love it
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
