You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
