My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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