Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
