So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
