Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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