is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize