Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dual....:-)
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Buhtt sex?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
