Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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