were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
