i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
