I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize