if only i could text you this smell
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
