At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i think i just lost a toe
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
