the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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