This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
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