Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Randomize
