"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
