How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
