hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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