just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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