i permit you to call me
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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