Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
