i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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