I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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