just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
