how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm passing your future prison.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
