i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
