im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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