I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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