Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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