Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
