I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
