How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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