why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
