I wannas sexs uuuuu
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
