I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
