Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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