I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
