OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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