I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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