it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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