I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
