I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he fucked my hip out of place.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
