i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
vagina is talking i cant
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
