I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
