Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
